Surrealmuse Studios

I envision God as another fellow artist, the master artist with a touch of scientific knowledge, but an artist all the same. Who else but an artist would create such beautiful scenic beaches and mountains? With the same token, the dark side of God’s artistic vision is illustrated in the creation of angry, fiery volcanoes. But God also has a sense of humor, who else could create a platypus?

When God isn’t busy creating and painting another landscape, there are moments when God whispers in my ear. Sometimes it is just a quick passing whisper to inspire me to create my own landscapes by sculpting and tending to my plants. But other times, those whispers have profound meaning and sentiment, and right now, God is whispering with such passion and energy that I don’t know which way is up or down because it’s not just one little message. It’s been several whispers all at once.

While in my heart, I know that even if I don’t make the “right” decision, I will always learn from my choices and experiences. And sometimes there are no easy answers. Life isn’t black and white as much as some of us would like to be.

With this common sense approach in mind, the first whisper came earlier this week when I was talking to mom. Ever since I became engaged this summer, she has been so excited. In the beginning, she would call me up with ideas for the wedding, but eventually, those calls faded when I didn’t return the same amount of enthusiasm about the wedding. It’s not that I have doubts of about my fiancé. It’s just that I have never understood modern day societies view on weddings. Most couples put more time and effort into planning in their wedding day than their actually marriage. Months are spent planning and debating over this color or that color. This dress or that dress. Silk or real flowers. Honestly, I could go on all day. I listen to my fellow engaged co-workers each and every day. Even a relatively small wedding takes all the thought and planning of a big wedding. And while all this energy is being place on one day, your relationship with your soon to be husband or wife could be falling apart. Even with marriage preparation classes, I don’t believe that one of my girlfriends at work has seriously sat down with her fiancé to discuss their views on money, children, and future goals. Right now, she has so much money invested in one day, and she doesn’t even know if he is the one anymore. But she keeps making those wedding arrangements because the bottom line in her head is that she has to much invested in this one day, which is sad because it’s not just one day, it’s her entire life that is being committed to this one person. And yes, while there is divorce, there is always a way out later down the road, it will only get more icky and tricky as the days pass.

While I have a solid foundation with my fiancé, I have a hard time envision myself spending all my energy towards one day. I would rather spend time working towards our goal of getting our first home, of building a life together.

So when my mom asked me if I have given any thought to our wedding, I told her. I told her I had concerns, and I asked what she thought if maybe we just had a simple ceremony over this Christmas. My parents were already planning on flying down to meet his parents so my mom was ecstatic at the news. But my fiancé, while open to the idea, is a big family person. His concept of immediate family goes beyond the traditional model of parents and grandparents, which is one of the reasons I love him and his family. Since I moved down to Florida, I have felt distant from family outside of my parents and grandparents who I talk to on a regular basis. When I met my fiancé, I basically became adopted into a big family that is within traveling distance, which is wonderful. And when it comes to wedding stuff, his mom will be there by my side. She is a wiz at event planning. So even though my family is far away, I do have lots of help.

With whisper #1 out of the way, the next whisper I heard was to get a new apartment–something closer to work and less expensive so we could save more money for a home. When I mentioned the idea to my fiancé, he was thrilled. He had been thinking the same thing, but he knows how many times I have moved within the past four years. And this last time around, I stated that it would be my last until we buy a home. So this weekend has been spent apartment hunting. Of which, I have to get ready for round two, so I will keep you posted on how it goes. If you wonder why I don’t find time to write as often, at least, you’ll know that some major life changes are in the works. Hopefully, everything will work out for the best, and I’ll have time to set down and ponder life and art once more . . .