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Tag Archives: Holidays
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A surrealmuse.com supplemental by techmuse, the adoring husband of themuse.
Sigh. Its late. About 1:30 am. Valentine’s day is, I suppose, officially over in our time zone.
So its over. The day to express to your loved one how you feel. And right now I am looking for divine inspiration to help me in this post.
I’ve always hated Valentine’s Day. With a passion. I’ve never had one turn out well. There was always something wrong with them. The earliest Valentine’s Day that come to memory was me, in third grade.
The most popular girl in the class was Sandy. She was sweet, nice, and always wore a pin with a smiley face on it, and didn’t mind playing Transformers with us boys. Valentine’s day suddenly came into my awareness that year as something a boy is supposed to something to prove his adoration to the object of his affection. Namely, the girl scout named Sandy.
My family was at the grocery store for a grand old shopping outing. We spent some time in the jungle of produce and made our way past the gigantic Coca Cola displays and suddenly, there is was. An enormous, shining, red, pink and balloon-adorned display of Valentine’s Day Chocolates. Mom and Dad let me choose one, and I couldn’t wait to give it to Sandy the next day. I was absolutely sure that chocolates would make her like me more than anyone else. I don’t know if I had any idea why this was important or not, but it seemed important at the time, to me. It was the first time I actively had a crush. And it had hit hard. I mean, after all, Its not everyday you find a girl who can transform Optimus Prime from truck mode to full on robot mode with laser cannon in under 3 seconds.
Of course, as an activity, we made hearts out of construction paper and glue. When recess came, my heart was pounding out of my chest. I took my bookbag out to the playground and, after about 20 minutes of working up the courage, presented Sandy with the chocolates.
On her face was a look of sheer and outright terror. And then, the tears. Ah, nothing like the high pitched squeal of a third grader to ruin a romantic moment. And then, the horrible, terrible, laughter from all of the other kids.
Sandy threw the heart on the ground and stepped on it once, and then the teachers came over to see what was wrong… They thought it all very cute.
I was mortified. And, for the rest of the school year, Sandy wouldn’t play with me. Heck, she wouldn’t even look at me. I guess, for a third grader, she had the appropriate action. She was confused, scared, and a little intimidated. Laughing children throwing pine cones and singing “Brian and Sandy, sitting in a tree…” could be a little traumatic to both parties.
But that was my first Valentine’s day, and ever since, they have been pretty much the same. Sure, they didn’t all involve pine cones, and the grades changed, and I got older and more awkward for a bit, but every Valentine’s day pretty much ended up in rejection. Or had some trauma associated with it. Minor. I hope this is being read with a good sense of humor.
But that all changed when I met the primary author of this site. Ever since then, Valentine’s Day celebrations have had meaning They have been deep. We’ve been together through quite a bit these last few years, especially this last year.
I am in school, full time with easily 30 hours of homework a week, she is working nearly sixty to seventy hours a week. And the moments we have together come few and far between these days. quite honestly, we are lucky to get one good full hour together each day.
She takes care of me, and I take care of her, the best that we can in the limited time we have together. We talk, but conversations generally lose steam as the clock wears on, and 5:30am comes awful early for someone who is a incurable night owl.
Sure, we are making investments in our future. We understand the sacrifices we are making now will help us in the long run. Sure, we know that, well, sometimes life can get rough. But we deal. And due to our schedules, which are on opposite shifts, we find ourselves sometimes spending 10 minutes together before one of us goes to sleep.
Sure, we do what alot of couples do. We changed the date of our Valentine’s Day celebration so we could have all day together on Saturday. We had a great meal together, she bought me some gifts, and I am getting her a necklace. I say “getting” because themuse is very particular, and we will probably be shopping until tax day for it.
But this year, I want to give more to my wife. I want to do more of the things that matter. I want to spend more time with her. I want to stop opting for an evening spent sulking on the Internet because we are both “just too tired” to do anything else. I want us to reconnect on that deeper, spiritual level that lack of time can sometimes erode. And I want to make clear, specific goals of these things. She and I have been talking about this, and how to achieve it, and how to spend more time together with our hectic lives… But actions speak louder than words. So darling, here are some gifts I want you to have…
- Once a week, I’d like us to go to Borders, or a bookstore together, even if we meet after work.
- St Pete Art Walk. When they come up, you tell me. I will make time.
- At least once a month, I’d like us to go to the beach. Maybe more often. I know, I know. Yeah, I can be weird about the beach. Well, time I got over it.
- Eight Minutes in the morning. Yes, I know,but its time to do it. (And for those of you who have filthy minds, shame on you. This is an exercise routine.)
- When you need a date night, you tell me, and it will happen. You name the place and time, and I will be there for you.
- Every night, we have tea *together.* We have tea, but its often in our separate offices. I miss tea time with you. And its a good chance to shoot the breeze.
Okay, so those things may seem small. But they are gifts I can give you, all throughout the year. And maybe by then, they will be habits… And we can think of new things to add to the list. And every year, we will keep our list, and add on to it. And every year, we will look back, and laugh at these silly little love letters.
So, how are we going to make sure these things get done? Well darling, take a look at your desk. There’s a calendar for this month. This is our Togetherness Calendar. Its a tool we can use. And we can use it every month. And if you like, go check my office. There’s one tacked up to the cork board in there.
This little token of my love is to show you how much I value our time together. I know there will be times that allow more or less minutes of the day together. But we’re still waiting to get you a necklace until you find the perfect one, and I can’t exactly give you chocolates due to your blood sugar..So look at this as my little box of chocolates. I can’t give you a real one, but I can give you my heart. You’ve always had it, its always been yours, and I want to show you how much I love you every day, by sharing even a small part of every day with you, and by making time for us to connect.
I love you, spooky, my Gemini, my lovely, lovely wife. Thank you for being the most amazing thing to have ever happened to me. I have no idea how you do what you do, and how you manage to make the world around you seem more beautiful. Your smile still makes me melt.
Anyway, I am pretty sure by now, there’s alot of people relatively close to losing their lunches, so I will stop for now.
So since I can’t give you a heart of chocolates, here is my real one. I love you hon, can’t wait to spend more time with you.